The Truth is… Support is Essential.
Lynn Polin
Founder of Kindred Beginnings and IVF Warrior.
I connected with Lynn Polin earlier this year when we were invited to share our stories at a fertility support event at Kindbody in Princeton. We’ve had very different paths toward motherhood, but the common thread that connected us was the need to turn pain into purpose. She and I both strongly believe that the common experiences of pregnancy loss and infertility require support, community, and collective healing, rather than how they have traditionally been met with, isolation, stigma, and silence.
Lynn is a fierce infertility advocate and provides families with both individual and group support that helps them to prepare for and endure the different stages that an infertility journey may include. She has also raised unprecedented amounts of money to fund awareness, education, and support resources for families as well as to ensure that no bills are passed that threaten family building options such as IVF, adoption, and surrogacy.
The truth is, she’s an unwavering fighter and continues to lead the way in changing the landscape of the infertility journey and I’m proud to share her story.
What made you decide to work with and support families experiencing infertility?
I have a BIG family-building journey - 6 years and 10 rounds of IVF kind of BIG. Much of that time was spent navigating the journey alone with just a handful of co-workers who had similar experiences years prior. After my 9th IVF round and fail, I started and led a local peer-led support group with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. As I was supporting others on their journeys I found a shift within me; I felt supported, heard, and validated. I realized that something amazing happens when you surround yourself with community. In fact, that community encouraged me to go back for round 10 which brought our second miracle girl, Rylie. I made the conscious decision to turn my pain into purpose, making a promise that I would support as many people as possible on their family-building journey. I left my 18-year teaching career and became a certified Integrative Fertility Coach and co-founded Kindred Beginnings. I am fulfilling my promise and loving it!
What type of support was lacking during your journey and what gaps still exist today?
I was lacking community and mental and emotional support. I had a fabulous medical care team who took care of me physically, but that mental and emotional piece was missing and is still missing in many clinics today. My dream is to have specialized fertility therapists and coaches in every single office providing both individual and group support in addition to training the medical staff on how to support their patients through times of crisis, grief, and trauma that come with infertility treatment and loss.
Tell us about Kindred Beginnings and what type of support you provide for families?
Kindred Beginnings was founded in 2020 to create a network of support resources for the family-building community. We aim to provide a connection through personal customized coaching, support groups, and by providing referrals to local and national resources. Our mission is to provide support, validation, education, and resources for all who are family-building. We have both free and paid services that include virtual support groups, educational workshops (and a free video library), individual and group coaching, an online support community, book clubs, and more. Within the general community are specialized communities such as support for donor conception/gestational surrogacy/adoption, secondary infertility, and those pregnant and parenting after. It's truly a safe, brave space with others who get it.
Tell us about the Walk of Hope:
The Walk of Hope NJ benefits RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association in supporting RESOLVE's mission to support all who are challenged in their family-building journeys. It is a walk/run event where local businesses support the family-building community and share health and wellness tips to show support for people struggling to build their family. I founded the WOH to provide a space to not only validate those on their journeys but to educate their family and friends about the physical, emotional, and mental toll this can take. We've raised over $150,000 since we started in 2018. We are now offering virtual participation so this event is open to anyone anywhere! You can learn more by visiting our website and following us on Facebook.
Has working with others in this space helped you in your own healing journey?
One million percent YES! I'm not sure I can sufficiently put into words how working with others has helped me heal mentally and emotionally. First, without the love and support of the community, I may not have made the decision to try again and our second daughter may not be here. Working with and supporting others brings with it a sense of self-awareness and simultaneously allows me to process my journey, my trauma, and my grief. The thing is, these hard feelings never really "go away;" rather they shift. I always compare feelings of grief to a pinball machine without any linear rhyme or reason. Some moments are hard. Some are okay. Some may even be amazing. What's important is to validate where you are, acknowledge the feelings, and work through them in order to process them. That is exactly what working with and supporting others has done for me - allowed me to sit in empathy with others and make time and space for myself to really process and heal myself. Healing in and of itself is its own journey.
What is your advice for individuals and families who are currently experiencing infertility?
Here are my top 3!
1. Surround yourself with a community of others who are in it with you. No matter where you are in your journey, you deserve to be validated, heard, and supported.
2. It's also important to give yourself permission to feel all the feelings safely and bravely. Lean in, feel, and acknowledge.
3. Finally, advocate for yourself and set boundaries. If something a doctor says doesn't resonate with you, ask another doctor. A consultation is just a conversation. It's important to trust your doctor so if you don't, look into alternatives (and please, for the love of all things, do not get caught up in the blackhole of Dr. Google!). Set boundaries with your medical staff, family, and friends. You are not being selfish, you are taking care of yourself.
